Tuesday, October 2, 2007

PETP Protests MacAbre's Macabre Halloween Proposal

Victor Teakwood, the founder and Chief Executive Person of PETP, People for the Ethical Treatment of People, issued the following statement at a sparsely-attended press conference in downtown Madison, Wisconsin today:

"We, the people of People for the Ethical Treatment of People, are totally opposed
to Scottish zombie comedian Angus MacAbre's modest proposal for preventing riffraff
from ruining this year's Halloween celebration on State Street on Saturday, October 27th."

"We, the people of PETP, are totally opposed to the idea of zombies consuming the
flesh of raucous troublemakers, even if they are from outside the great state of

"We, the people of PETP strongly believe that people are the most valuable of both our human resources and our non-human resources. We also strongly believe that
raucous troublemakers are not beyond redemption. As a matter of fact, I used to be
a bit of a raucous troublemaker myself during my younger days and now look at me. I'm the founder and Chief Executive Person of PETP."

After a very long and very awkward pause, Teakwood added the following aside: "And
yes, I realize our website address is quite long. We wanted to just go with our
acronym, PETP, but it turns out that People for the Ethical Treatment of Plants,beat us to that domain name. Oh, well.
I guess it just goes to show you that if you snooze, you lose."


Tanner said...

Is this site making fun of PETA and at the same time lobbying for human rights. If so I love it. When you say sparsely attended press conference, does that mean you and maybe your dog? I originally looked you up because I had the idea of starting PETP, I knew I wouldnt be the first. Are you looking for a board of directors or advisors?

vortex said...

I also had the idea for PETP(plants), but protecting people would be a more sensible endeavor. Especially if you consider that more industry is headed back to the US since overseas workers are demanding more pay. Once industry starts polluting the US soil again (think 50's-80's)workers will need a vast supply of inexpensive food source. It's not too unimaginable to think we could be eating cloned-human-like food units in the near future. "Clonibalism" should be PETP's first issue to deal with. What does anyone else think?